The other week it struck me when watching that particular episode how different some of the participants are in the boardroom compared to outside of it.

Jekyll and Hyde.

One participant said

‘we are friends… But I did have to Sxxx on her. Now I have done it to her I could do it to anyone.’

So the question in my mind is ‘ does being aggressive, arrogant and in consistent in relationships a prerequisite to being successful in the Apprentice and indeed in business?’

If the answer is no, then why do so many of the participants behave in that way?

I believe that the opposite is true. That being consistent, respectful and loving to each other at work (and elsewhere) leads to not only the best outcomes in the long run but also more satisfying relationships – something that we often do not prioritise but frequently yearn for.

The bible commends us to do the same. “You shall love your neighbour as yourself” . My belief is that my neighbour is the person who lives next door and also the people I work with.

Which do you think is the most successful strategy of the 2 outlined here? And is there other evidence that one strategy is more successful?

I’m not into complacency either ( at least not intentionally). I work in,  and am passionate about, sustainability however recently I was shaken out of my complacency by a seminar I attended by a leading change management expert in the Sustainability space. Bob Doppelt*.

You may have heard but the follow up to Kyoto is happening in Copenhagen this later year – the United Nations Climate Change Conference. The scientists had a bit of a pre-meeting recently to agree the science and it was not good news. Let me summarise:

1. Worse Case IPCC Occurring: New data shows likely temperature rise of +2o C (maybe 3-5oC), sea rise of 1 meter, risk of abrupt & irreversible changes.
2. Major Social Upheaval: Billions of people moving, global conflicts
3. Immediate Action Needed: ‘West ’must become essentially ‘carbon free ’by 2050 (+80%) but near term action essential(3-5 year and 2020) .
4. Disproportional Impacts: Most vulnerable within and between societies most affected now and in immediate future—all affected soon.
5. No Excuse For Inaction: Knowledge, skills and technologies exist now and will produce major job, public health & ecological benefits.
6. Must rapidly overcome cognitive, behavioral, organizational, cultural, and political constraints.

So the impact this had on me was that it is easy to pat yourself on the back either as an individual or as a brand at the progress we are making on the carbon agenda. In reality we may be making small incremental changes which really will have little impact in the grand scheme. For the west to become carbon free in 2050 is a massive step change in thinking, product offering, the way we live. Now that can be an exciting prospect, a great business opportunity and can drive great innovation.

The question to myself (and to you) is how do we start driving down that step change route?

*You can get his book here, and find out more here

Well my argument goes something like this. In general we as human beings  are civil and courteous (I admit they are my words not necessarily yours) when we interact with individuals, when we can see them, when we can establish eye contact I believe that we are generally reasonable, pretty well behaved and respectful.

Now when I am in a car and need to get somewhere, when there is a queue of traffic I want to sneak in at the front, I don’t want to wait. When someone else wants to push in I have ( in the past)  made it as difficult as possible for them to do this. My blood pressure rises, my voice goes into ‘telling off’ mode, everyone else is to blame. Do you get the picture? Can you identify with this?

One of my aims is to be as consistent as possible in  the way I behave, to live out my faith in a congruent manner. I have been challenged recently about how that plays out in my driving. Just because they are in a metal box and can’t speak back to me should I treat them differently compared to if I met them in the street?

Many of us seek to

love your neighbor as yourself – Matthew 19:19

so what does this mean for my driving habits…….

I find being a parent is not always easy, mind you I wasn’t told it was! Where is the master handbook of parenting?

Sometimes I find there is truth in the saying you have to be ‘cruel to be kind’ ..well not perhaps ‘cruel’ but your child might perceive you as being that.

I hold the view that many teenagers in our western society are spoilt by their parents…
maybe to assuage their guilt sometimes …
maybe to make up for what they didn’t have as children…
maybe just becasue they can.

My belief is that this isn’t necessarily good for the teenager.

When I have to say no – when friend’s parents say ‘yes’ – it can look like I am being cruel, I don’t always feel good about it but I know it is ultimately beneficial.

Working for a larger ‘corporate’ cynicism can creep in when it comes to the walking the talk on leadership. The leaders that succeed are not necessarily the ones that follow the ‘good leadership manual’. I was warmed today to receive an email from our CEO. Among the state of the nation communication was an emphasis on leadership:

Leadership is all about others. It’s about service, care and creating a sense of belonging for others. I envisage a model of leadership where leaders are highly conscious about self, about life and universal truth and wisdom, who bring an intention to their jobs of service and care for others. If you have an attitude of compassion and humility, then people will give back massively to the leader. (Tex Gunning)

Now that is a radical take on leadership from where my company has been. It is inspiring. It resonates with my values and I think it taps into real timeless  truth about good leadership.

It reminds me of a verse in Matthew (23:11)

The greatest among you will be your servant. 12For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

And also:

For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest (Luke 9:47)

Well….. what do you think?

What is the cure for grumpiness, How can we be more content? The former is one thing the latter may be a bigger question.

The guy who was grumpy did 2 things (from recollection):

• Listed 3 things that three good things that have happened to him
• Identifying what he’s good at and then using them in a new way.

The theory is that thinking positively changes the brain. Start thinking positively and brand new pathways are laid down in your brain. This supports the theory that he mind and body are inexricably linked. (are ‘one in’ in nlp terms).

I am sure this is generically true. It really reminds me of the old Hymn >>

Count your many blessings Name them one by one,
And it will surprise you What the Lord hath done.

Being thankful can indeed change the way we are.

My initial reaction was how could this Islamic miltant group do such a thing. It is just ‘evil’.

Yes it is evil. And in my view it is is right to condemn such behaviour. It is also true that aspects of their behaviour are manifested in me – and probably most of us. What needed to be true for them to do such a thing? Was it a unquestioning sense of being right? A revelling in power and authority? A sense of doing God’s will? All of which I’m guilty of.

This was a terrible act. It is right to be disgusted and pained. There is a danger of feeling self-righteous… however the evil we recognise in them is present to some degree in ourselves, is it not?

In the past I have been tempted to be ‘Mr Grumpy’ in situations such as these. This time I chose to adopt a lighter mood, frame the meeting from a postive perspective, adopt the intent that I was there for the others in the meeting and to make a real (positive) difference to them.

And… what a difference. I really enjoyed the meeting, felt I contributed in a meaningful way. And all this in a way that was aligned with my values and beliefs.

And so what had I learned? I can choose how I will ‘be’. How I will impact on others. I can choose how resourceful a state I can adopt. I can ‘feel’ better about this and can ensure a more positive outcome for those around me.

When I write this I can here a ‘wow – that’s not exactly rocket science’ comment from within me ( and probably form others!) That is so true. What is also true, in my experience, is that it is the obvious and simple that I constantly need to learn and re-learn.

What is your experience?

There is something quite neat about sitting on a train speeding to my destination while being connected to the world through an onboard Wifi link. Sophisticated or what? 

Getting to the train was not so sophisticated – hauling my case up steps that didn’t have an escalator, squeezing (and I mean squeezing!) onto an underground train in very close proximity to other warm people.

 Mixed experiences. Somehow it was the time on the underground feeling a bit like a sardine that I felt most connected with myself and others. So I wonder what that is about? Part of it was letting myself see the others on the underground as real people rather than as ‘bodies’ (and I almost wrote bodies earlier). People have dreams, they have emotions ..they want to be loved. Another part of it was choosing to see this as a celebration of life rather than a real inconvenience and irritation. Choosing how  we ‘see’ things is a real privilege of being human and can be really transformational. 

Let’s experiment!